The Gift

Tonight Cassie and I received a gift that didn’t (and still
doesn’t) even seem possible. For about 15 minutes all we could do
was just stare down at the cashiers check in my hand. Cassie was
trying hard not to cry but couldn’t keep it in. My eyes played ping
pong between the piece of paper and her face as I repeated, “This
must be a mistake, right?”. There was no mistake. We were holding
an amount that would pay for our application fees and home study,
with more left over to start in on the next step in the adoption
process! What do you say to someone who gives like that? Well I can
tell you that when we called the generous couple a few minutes
later it was still hard to express our thanks. “We have been on the
receiving end before”, he said with a smile we could hear through
the phone, “and we are just excited we could give this to you
guys”. Wow. We feel unworthy, undeserving, almost…dirty.
Seriously. All the silly things I complained about even just this
weekend started to flood into my mind. I mean, even just a few
hours ago I was in a bad mood because I couldn’t get the screen
protector on our brand new iPad (another unexpected and awesome
Christmas gift) to lay down perfectly. It’s a silly example to
emphasize a powerful reality: We DON’T deserve a
gift like this but it didn’t keep them from giving it or us from
receiving it. In fact, can you imagine if we had called and said,
“Thank you so much for writing out this check and going to the bank
to get it notarized but it’s just too much. We will swing by
tomorrow to return it.”? There is no doubt in my mind that they
would feel deeply hurt and rejected. Similarly, God gave us back a
relationship with him (the most immeasurably great gift) through
his son Jesus and still so many of us don’t accept because we feel
unworthy. We are unworthy. But, just as our friends intended that
we accept the gift (regardless of our worth) for a purpose
(adoption), so too Jesus asks that we accept him (regardless of our
worth) for a purpose (adoption as his sons and daughters)!

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